


I Want To Break My Mother's Heart

by lilydarling



Category: The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: F/M, Gay, Homophobic family, M/M, also sad angst, cute fluff, get ready this is a wild ride, mcpriceley, this is beautiful and already finished in a word doc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-09
Packaged: 2019-10-03 03:17:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 13,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17276072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilydarling/pseuds/lilydarling
Summary: Kevin Price hates his mother, so when she asks him to come live with him for a summer, it should be no surprise that Kevin wants to get back at her in the best way possible. He looks for a girlfriend that his mother will hate, but along the way he finds Connor McKinley, the boy who he has a very complicated past with.Told with a flashback in the beginning of each chapter, and present day after that.





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> I actually finished a fanfic? What? Wow I am so excited to share this. I almost cried writing it.
> 
> Enjoy this McPriceley trash.
> 
> I may post more than I claim. After all, it's finished.

Kevin felt weird about leaving Uganda. Within the first couple of months, he would’ve expected to be excited to get back from his mission, but many things had changed since then. He wanted to change lives with his mission, but his life was changed instead.

He was dreading the after-mission. Usually, Mormons were expected to settle down and get married right after their missions, but Kevin knew he was no longer a typical Mormon. After all, he wasn’t really sure he even believed in God anymore. Things had changed so much in those two years and Kevin was scared to come back to his family as an entirely different person that may not please them. 

Once Kevin got to the airport, he hugged Arnold goodbye as his family went to pick him up. Arnold had really become his best friend over time, and Kevin knew they would spend lots of time together. He just wished the rest of them were there too. Not to mention, Arnold had brought a fiance home, which probably pleased his parents more than he could imagine.

Kevin didn’t even have the desire to find a wife. He hoped his parents would not push that too far. Sure, it was Mormon tradition, but surely not every Mormon would get married right after the mission. He doubted Elder Connor McKinley would, not because of anything wrong with him, but….well.

Kevin dialed his mom’s number for the third time, surprised that she wasn’t answering. His father was on a business trip, so she was the only one who could pick him up. After six attempted missed calls, he took a cab back to his house. He felt nervous as he began to open the door to his house. Luckily, it wasn’t locked.

The lights were off, much to Kevin’s surprise. Clearly, nobody had heard him come in, so he headed up to his parent’s room, assuming his mother was knitting or something. He took another deep breath as he began to turn the doorknob.

When in the room, the sight before him was astounding. There was the pastor of his church, naked, laying over his mother who was also naked. Kevin couldn’t comprehend it. His parents were the perfect couple. There was no way this was happening.

“Kevin..” his mother hesitantly said, as if she was going to defend her horrific actions, but Kevin Price ran away as fast as he possibly could, phoning Arnold Cunningham so he could head to his house. He sent a text to his dad to call him and bawled as he hopped in his car.

*

THREE YEARS LATER....

Dear Kevin,  
It has been so long since I’ve seen you. I know you’re not married, and I respect your wishes to find the right woman. I understand especially since you watched your parents get divorced as you would normally be searching for a wife.  
I am writing to you to ask you if you will spend the summer with me. It’s been two years since I’ve seen you, and our last encounter was not great. I would love to make it up to you. Come spend the summer with me in Miami. We may be able to stop by Orlando at some point also.  
I know you’re 23 now, and you probably have your own life, but it would really mean a lot to me if you would come see me this summer. I really miss you, and I want to know what is going on in your life.  
Love,  
Mom

P.S. Feel free to bring a girlfriend

Kevin could not believe what he was reading. This had to be some kind of practical joke. She couldn’t honestly think that Kevin would willingly spend an entire summer with her. She must’ve been really desperate.

Of course she assumed he’d have a girlfriend. He didn’t even have a desire for one at the moment, nor had he met any girls who had spiked his interest. He didn’t even know who he would bring. He didn’t even know any “good Mormon girls” that his Mom would love.

That was it.

Kevin could go to her house this summer and bring a girl that his mom would hate. Then, maybe she’d understand how much she hurt him. Not knowing many girls, Kevin began to wonder if Arnold would let him borrow his wife for the summer. It was a long shot, but it was definitely worth a try, which is what prompted Kevin to drive over to Arnold’s house. 

\----

“Absolutely not. Are you crazy?” Arnold looked at Kevin, “There’s got to be better options.”

“I don’t really know any girls,” Kevin sighed.

“Well, when you have a two-year-old daughter, you can’t exactly have her mother leave for the entire summer,” Arnold reminded his best friend.

“Right, I forgot,” Kevin said. As if on cue, Arnold and Nabulungi’s daughter, Violet, appeared behind Arnold’s leg.

“Daddy, will you play dolls with me?” she asked, tugging on Arnold’s pant leg, before seeing Kevin, “UNCLE KEVIN!”

Since Arnold only had one sister and she was nothing but trouble, and all of Nabulungi’s family was back in Africa, Kevin was the closest thing to family that Violet had besides her parents.

“You’re going to see your other uncle today, sweetie,” Arnold gently patted her head.

“Really?” she lit up, “He loves playing dolls with me!”

“Other uncle?” Kevin asked, clearly confused by the whole situation.

“Oh, that’s right. I forgot to tell you,” Arnold smiled softly, “Our old friend, Connor McKinley, is coming to Salt Lake City. He’s living with us until he gets a place of his own, but….” Kevin zoned out as Arnold continued talking. Connor was coming? Connor McKinley? As in, the Connor McKinley from Uganda?  
This was going to be really awkward.

“Hey, how’s your sister doing?” Kevin asked, eager to change the subject. Arnold’s sister, Erin Cunningham, had just come back from rehabilitation for her opioid addiction.

“She’s causing the family a lot of issues. They don’t approve of her lifestyle, and she’s likely still using,” Arnold sighed, “I just miss the way things used to be with her.”

“What do you mean by her lifesty--?” Kevin was quickly cut off by the sound of Violet yelling for her dad and saying she fell and got a boo-boo. Arnold said he would be back as soon as possible and invited Kevin to come in while he helped his daughter cover her small injury.

“Hey, Kevin,” Nabulungi appeared from the corner.

“Hey Naba,” Kevin smiled at her, “How are you liking going to college?”

“University of Utah is great,” Nabulungi grinned, “It really helped me get admitted to have moved from Uganda and become a prophet.”

“Yeah, no kidding,” Kevin said.

“Are you getting excited to see Connor again?” Nabulungi teased lightly. Kevin began to blush.

“Wha-What do you mean?” Kevin averted.

“Oh please, you think Arnold didn’t tell me everything?” Nabulungi smirked, “Come on, you at least have to feel nervous.”

“That is an understatement,” Kevin admitted, “I haven’t seen him in so long, and it’s not like we left on the best of terms.”

“I’m sure he’s not going to hate you,” Naba gave a reassuring smile, “Connor is incapable of hate. I promise he’ll be glad to see you and it will be like nothing ever happened.”

“If you’re absolutely positive,” Kevin sighed before mumbling, “Because I’m sure as hell not.”

“What are you two talking about?” Kevin felt a familiar elbow resting on his shoulder as heard the sound of the suitcase rolling across the floor.

“Connor!” Naba grinned, giving Connor McKinley a hug. He chuckled into the hug and smiled at Kevin.

“Well, it’s really nice to see you again, Kevin Price.” Connor smiled. There was something about that smile; something that could make Kevin melt into a million pieces as his heart warmed.

“It’s nice to see you too,” Kevin gazed at Connor. He looked….even better than before. He had obviously been working out, and it did some definite improvement on his body, though Kevin always liked his body. His red hair was shinier than ever, and his eyes were just glowing with happiness. He must’ve found the perfect guy, Kevin thought to himself, his heart sinking slightly.

“Where’s your….wife, Kevin?” Connor asked, his smile looking a little forced as he asked those words.

“Oh, I, uh, actually am single. I, uh, am waiting to find the right person,” Kevin struggled to get out the right words. Connor laughed slightly, which made Kevin feel a jab in his chest.

“It’s okay, Kev. I haven’t found the right person yet either,” Connor and Kevin’s awkward stares were soon interrupted by a little girl screaming for her uncle Connor and Arnold following right behind her.

“Hey, Vi,” Connor picked her up, causing her to giggle. Kevin wished he was that good with kids, “How are you doing, squirt?”

“I missed you, Uncle Connor!” she squealed, “How come you’re living with us?”

“It’s only for a little while,” Connor tickled her, “Does that bother you?”

“No. No!” she managed to sputter out through giggles, “We can play dolls! I got a new doll even!”

Connor was so gentle with Violet. It made Kevin’s heart swell. Things with Connor were going to be difficult. He didn't even know if Connor had ever forgiven him, and he highly doubted it.

“Guys, I have to run,” Arnold said, closing his phone that nobody noticed he was even talking on, “Erin needs my help.”

This was Kevin’s chance. He had to go try to pursue Erin to get her to come to Kevin’s mom’s house for the summer.

“Let me come,” Kevin spoke up, earning odd looks from both Arnold and Nabulungi.

“Well, um, okay,” Arnold said, “But we gotta go now.”

With that, Kevin headed with Arnold out the door, ready to go pursue Erin Cunningham. This could be his chance.


	2. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kevin finds out this will be harder than he thought

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted another chapter anyway. I don't care, I wanted to.

Two

“These fireflies remind me of home and my childhood,” Connor said, “I used to catch them with my family.”

“You talk about your family in such a melancholy tone, as if you guys aren’t close anymore,” Kevin frowned, “What happened?”

“They know,” Connor sighed, “No matter how hard I try to turn it off, they can still see it. They consistently told me how I was never going to be good enough in God’s eyes if I kept...acting the way I was.”

“That’s not fair,” Kevin said, “It’s not. I’m sorry. You can’t help it. It’s obvious it’s hurting you, and it’s not fair for them to hurt you more.”

“No, it’s my fault,” Connor admitted, “I should be able to control it, for the sake of being a good Mormon.”

“Connor,” Kevin spat, “We broke away from the Mormon church. Arnold even wrote in his book that being gay is okay. Why are you still holding back?”

“Because my family, Kevin! They would truly hate me if I let myself go.” Connor looked down sadly, “I want to. I really do.”

“Then do it,” Kevin grabbed Connor’s hands, “You are in Uganda still for a year and a half. Be yourself during that time. Let yourself be who you always wanted to be. Your parents aren’t here.” Kevin gave him a soft smile. They looked in each other’s eyes like that for a minute, just staring there like they were seeing the whole world in front of them.

“Okay,” Connor whispered softly, “I will.”

“Good,” Kevin smiled at him, finally releasing his hands. As soon as he did, Connor felt like something was missing. 

“We should probably get back to bed,” Connor scratched the back of his head awkwardly. “I wouldn’t want to worry the others.”

“Are you sure?” Kevin looked at Connor, the look in his eyes clearly saying he wanted to stay in this moment. Connor felt the same way, except he wanted much, much more than just that.

“No,” Connor smiled, “Let’s keep catching fireflies.”

*  
THREE YEARS LATER

Erin Cunningham had called her brother over because she didn’t know how to cook, and Arnold just so happened to be gifted with it. 

“I wanted to make lasagna,” Erin sighed, “You know how to make lasagna, right?”

“Erin, I know how to make lobster. Of course I know how to make lasagna,” Arnold shrugged. Erin let a small giggle out.

“Kevin Price,” she shook his hand, “I think I’ve met you like, once.” 

“Yeah,” he gave a small smile, “And I don’t think it was the best time to meet you either.”

“Yeah, I’m so glad I got over my opioid addiction,” she smiled back at him proudly.

“So why do your parents still think you’re troublesome if you’ve quit using drugs?” Kevin asked sincerely. Her face fell. “I didn’t mean to hit a sore spot, sorry, it’s none of my business.”

“No,” she sighed, “It’s because I’m a lesbian.”

Well, so much for bringing her as a girlfriend,

“You know,” Arnold suggested, “You’re looking for someone to bring home to your mom to piss her off. Have you thought of bringing a guy?”

Well, Arnold was onto something there. His mom had always been super homophobic. His dad thought she was ridiculous about it, but she continued to stick to that opinion. 

“You know, Arnold,” Kevin grinned at his best friend, “You’re on to something. Will you be my date?”

Arnold chuckled, “Nice try. I have to take care of Violet. But I bet I know someone who would,” Arnold gave a teasing smile.

“Would he though?” Kevin asked, “I mean, I don’t know if he’s forgiven me for everything that happened, and I would hate to make things worse between us--”

“Who are you two talking about?” Erin asked, a large smirk across her face. 

“Connor McKinley,” Arnold smiled at her, “While we were in Uganda, he--”

“Arnold,” Kevin warned, “Stop. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to ask.”

“It’s not going to bring up any hard feelings, will it?” Erin asked.

“That’s exactly what I’m worried about,” Kevin sighed, “I don’t want him to think I’m using him again.”

“I think Kevin is going to be fine,” Arnold smiled, “Really. Connor and you were always close. There’s no real reason that this should be a problem.”

“You’re right,” Kevin sighed, “I’m just stressed.”


	3. III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kevin asks Connor to be his date.

“It’s such a surprise that we haven’t been caught sneaking out yet,” Kevin smiled as Connor held his hand while running through the fields to find a good place to watch the sunrise.

“I’m the mission leader,” Connor smiled, “Africa sunrises are way better than American sunrises. You’re in for a treat.”

“Have you even seen an African sunrise?” Kevin teased.

“Of course I have! We’ve been here for like eight months now,” Connor’s eyes lit up instantly, like the beauty of Africa was something that just made him feel peaceful again, like his worries just melted away with every sunrise he saw. Kevin thought the happiness Connor felt and the way it reflected in his eyes was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. 

“Is it like the Lion King sunrise?” Kevin grinned. Both him and Connor busted out laughing. Leave it to Kevin to bring up the Disney references at every chance possible.

Finally, they settled onto a grassy area over a blanket that Connor brought. The sky was still dark. Kevin yawned and laid his head onto Connor’s shoulder. Connor did not flinch, but rather accepted the action, scooting closed into Kevin.

“This is really nice,” Kevin mumbled into Connor’s shoulder. Kevin was obviously too tired to think clearly, as he laced his fingers through Connor’s. Connor blushed at this. Kevin was acting so sweet, it was almost as if he was signaling off that maybe Connor’s feelings were mutual.

Connor’s peaceful thoughts were interrupted by Kevin scream-singing the intro to the Lion King as the sun began to rise. This caused Connor to burst into a fit of giggles with Kevin laughing right beside him.

“You are so handsome when you laugh,” Kevin whispered into Connor’s shoulder. Connor blushed profusely.

“You are obviously very sleepy,” Connor ruffled the other boy’s hair, “Are you okay?”

“I’m having a lot of hell dreams right now,” Kevin sighed sadly, “I don’t really know why, but I have been having them every night.”

“That’s….I’m sorry,” Connor said.

“Do you-do you still have them?” Kevin asked, gazing into Connor’s eyes.

“Um, no, not often. Sometimes, though,” Connor looked down, “When I feel bad about being gay. Even though I try my hardest not to.”

“You shouldn’t feel bad, Connor. Really,” Kevin smiled, “I have enjoyed being around you much more since you’ve started being so true to yourself.”

“Thank you,” Connor smiled back at him. “Do you have any idea why you might be having your hell dreams?”

“I think---I don’t know,” Kevin sighed.

“It’s okay,” Connor’s eyes fluttered softly, as if he was dozing off, “Anytime you need to talk about it, you can.”

The two of them laid there and fell asleep until the sun had completely risen.   
*  
THREE YEARS LATER

Kevin did not know exactly how he planned to bring it up to Connor. With how things were when he last saw Connor, he didn’t want to push his luck. He still thought this whole idea was going to make Connor pissed at him more than he already was, and he really didn’t like that idea. Maybe he should have apologized for what happened back in Uganda, but honestly, he didn’t even know if Connor would accept his apology three years later.

Connor happened to be braiding Violet’s dark hair when Kevin came in to ask him. Kevin couldn’t help but smile. It was so adorable to watch Connor being sweet to Violet like this. It reminded him of times back in Uganda where….no, he had to focus. 

“Hey Connor,” Kevin smiled, “Hey Violet.”

“Uncle Kevin!” Violet beamed, “Look at what Uncle Connor did to my hair!”

“It looks beautiful. You look beautiful, Violet. You should go show your Mommy and Daddy.”

“Good idea!” Violet ran off to her parents to show them her new beautiful braid.

“Well, I should probably go back to unpacking,” Connor looked down awkwardly. Okay, so obviously things weren’t exactly back to normal.

“Connor, I actually need to talk to you,” Kevin said. Connor’s body began to tense up, but soon he took a deep breath and turned around to look at Kevin.

“I hope you’re not apologizing for Uganda. Because, really, I’m over all of that now. You helped me come to terms with myself, so really, I’m not mad anymore,” Connor put on his best smile for Kevin.

“I’m glad to hear that, but that’s not why I need to talk to you. Though I am sorry,” Kevin smiled at him awkwardly, “I actually need your help.”

“What’s going on?” Connor raised his eyebrows in concern.

“So, this might sound a little crazy,” Kevin cocked his head awkwardly, “But when I came back from Uganda I actually found my mom cheating on my dad.”

“Oh my, Kevin, that’s--I’m sorry,” Connor rubbed Kevin’s back supportively.

“She never bothered to apologize. She just walked out on us all of a sudden. Now, she’s acting me to come spend the summer with her in Miami. And she wants me to bring a girlfriend. And, well, she’s a very homophobic Mormon, so I was wondering--”

“You want me to come as your fake boyfriend?” Connor asked softly, “Kevin, I don’t know, that’s a lot to ask after--”

“I know,” Kevin sighed, “Honestly, I don’t deserve your help with this. I know I don’t. It took me so much courage to ask you this, knowing how I don’t deserve this. But I need you. Let me make it up to you. We’ll be spending the summer together. Let’s have an amazing time as friends again in Miami,” Kevin took a deep breath, “Please.”

Connor was silent for a moment before whispering, “Okay.”

“Really?” Kevin smiled, “Thank you, Connor. This means everything to me. Thank you so much.” 

Connor knew he shouldn’t do this. Everything inside him was telling him this was a horrible idea, and to back out. However, it wasn’t in Connor’s nature to let down a friend like this, especially not Kevin.

“The only catch is that we have to go to the beach while we’re there,” Connor grinned. He kept telling himself that maybe this was his chance to just see Kevin as a friend. Maybe this was an opportunity to get over him.

“Of course! It’s Miami!” Kevin beamed. “Thank you, Connor. You have no idea how much this means to me.”

Connor gave him a soft smile. He had to push down his hopes of getting back to the old days, and realize that this was a good opportunity to spend the summer with a friend.


	4. IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor and Kevin arrive in Miami and things get complicated

It was a hot and sunny day. Kevin could barely stand this heat. They never had this kind of heat in Utah. He was on a walk with Connor, the two of them running around hand-in-hand. This kind of behavior was very common for them. Elder Poptarts even asked them if they were dating at one point, which they both awkwardly replied no to. 

“I’m so hot, Connor!” Kevin whined. “I need to cool off.” Kevin suddenly took off his shirt. When he was done, he noticed Connor staring at him.

“What?” Kevin smiled.

“No-Nothing,” Connor smiled back.

“Aren’t you hot, too?” Kevin asked.

Connor blushed, “Yeah, I guess.” He, then, took off his shirt as well, getting a look from Kevin.

“Close your mouth, you’ll catch flies,” Connor smirked. Kevin blushed and closed his mouth. He didn’t even notice he was staring.

“Look, a river!” Kevin quickly changed the subject. The two sweaty boys ran over to the river, quickly getting in for a swim to cool off. Connor felt himself begin to relax when he felt a huge splash in his face.

“Hey!” Connor squealed. He soon dunked Kevin into the river. 

“You little shit!” Kevin screamed when he got up. He proceeded to chase a laughing Connor McKinley down until he dunked him as karma. 

“Alright, alright, I surrender!” Connor screamed through giggles. Kevin and him stood there staring into each other’s eyes for quite a while. This is it, Connor thought to himself as he began to lean in. Kevin was leaning in too. Kevin was leaning in too! This was it, their lips were inches apart, they were going to--

“Price! McKinley!” Arnold Cunningham called for them, causing the two boys to bounce apart. “There you guys are! We’re about to have the feast we planned. Did you two forget?”

“Uh, yeah,” Kevin turned really red. “Guess we better get going then, huh?”

“Yeah,” Connor blushed.  
*  
THREE YEARS LATER

“Okay, are you ready?” Kevin asked Connor as they drove the rental car to the house, “It’s okay if you’re not. I mean, we can fly back. We don’t have to do this, you know. I mean---”

“Kevin,” Connor interrupted Kevin’s nervous rambling, “It’s going to be okay. There’s no need to be nervous.”

“But I am nervous!” Kevin blurted all of a sudden, “I’m sorry, I just--I’m really, really scared.”

“I know,” Connor put a hand on him comfortingly, “I promise you it will be okay. Everything will be fine.”

“Okay,” Kevin sighed. They pulled up onto the driveway. Kevin took a deep breath in, trying to prepare himself before opening the car door.

“Here, hold my hand,” Kevin reached out his hand to Connor. Connor hesitantly took it, feeling Kevin’s fingers intertwine in his. He swallowed a blush and felt in a daze as Kevin rang the doorbell. 

“Kevin!” Mrs. Price was a brunette, thin woman who was wearing an apron covered in flour. She had a face full of makeup and high heels on. The outfit itself was so contradicting.

“Hey mom,” Kevin gave a small smile as his mom pulled him in for a hug.

“And you brought a friend!” Mrs. Price smiled, then she whispered not-so-subtley “Though I said you could bring a date.”

“Actually, Mom,” Kevin took a deep breath as he grabbed Connor’s hand again, “This is my boyfriend.”

Silence filled the air after that statement. To Kevin’s surprise, his mom said absolutely nothing. Instead, she pursed her lips together and said, “Well, dinner will be ready soon. Be ready to eat.”

Kevin sat down on the couch in the living room right next to the kitchen. The living room was a little more sectioned off though, so Mrs. Price would not easily be able to see into the living room.

“So, that went well,” Connor said, breaking the awkward silence.

“Actually, it went much better than expected,” Kevin frowned, “I was hoping she would be a little more….upset.”

“I think it got to her but she didn’t want to make scene,” Connor gave a reassuring smile.

“You’re probably right,” Kevin looked up, “After all the homophobic shit she spewed there is no way she is perfectly okay with this.”

“This house is really nice,” Connor said, “Do you know what your mother does for a living?”

“She was a teacher, but I don’t know what she does now. Obviously she changed jobs to afford a house this nice.”

As if on cue, a muscular man with salt and pepper hair walked in. Kevin’s jaw completely dropped as he saw the man wrap his arms around his mother’s waist.

“You have GOT to be kidding me,” Kevin crossed his arms.

“Dinner’s ready!” she called. Kevin didn’t even know if he could move his legs. His mom had married some man who was filthy rich. She had become a gold digger. What had happened to her values?

Kevin and Connor walked in and saw the man and Kevin’s mom sitting at the heads of the table and two blond girls who looked about fifteen sitting on either side. To Kevin’s satisfaction, his mom did not set the table for Kevin and Connor to sit together. Obviously, she was a little angry.

Though, there was no way it measured up to his anger about this guy.

“David, this is my son, Kevin and his um, friend, Connor.”

“Boyfriend,” Kevin corrected.

“Sure, honey. Kevin, this is my husband David and his two daughters, Emma and Tess.” she smiled.

“When did you get remarried, mother?” Kevin said behind clenched teeth.

“About a year ago,” she smiled once again, a smile that was piercing through Kevin’s and Connor’s brains. She clearly did not like the situation which did give Kevin some satisfaction, though he was too angry to enjoy it. “Oh, and by the way, this family eats vegan now.”

Kevin couldn’t believe all of this. He picked at his salad angrily and stared at Connor across the table with sadness in his eyes. He didn’t even try to pretend he was eating.

That night, Kevin argued with his mother about sharing a bed with Connor, insisting that Connor was to sleep in his bed with him, whether she liked it or not. Eventually, she gave up and Connor and Kevin went to go to bed.

“This has been the worst day of my life,” Kevin muttered angrily, “Can we go to the beach and chill for a bit?”

Surprised by his words, Connor nodded. The two of them snuck out once everyone was asleep. Lucky for them, Kevin’s mom lived right on the beach, so the walk was fairly short.

“I just...can’t believe this,” Kevin shook his head, “She has a problem with homosexuality but she can go around being a gold digger and cheating and ugh!”

“Hey, Kev, it’s going to be okay,” Connor pulled him in closer.

“No, it’s not,” Kevin leaned into his shoulder, “She’s not even sorry for what she did. She feels no remorse or guilt. I hate her so much.”

“We could always just turn around and leave,” Connor suggested.

“No,” Kevin wiped his eyes, “We just have to make this summer absolute hell for her. She needs to realize that if she’s going to drop her values, so will I.”

“What do you mean?” Connor asked.

“We’ll go out partying, and we’ll cuss, and we’ll even kiss and stuff in front of her,” Kevin looked up pleadingly at Connor, “Please?”

“Okay,” Connor agreed. He just hated seeing Kevin like this. 

They sat together silently, curled up against each other, just enjoying the calmness of the beach and the feeling of being together.

“I love the beach,” Kevin sighed through a yawn.

“Me too.” Connor yawned.

They, once again, fell asleep until the sun rose.


	5. V

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They get drunk and weird things happen

“So, since we’re telling embarrassing secrets,” Connor whispered, “Have you ever masturbated?”

“I’ve tried, honestly,” Kevin blushed, “But I just could never get off to boobs the way most guys do.”

“Me neither,” Connor joked, causing the two of them to burst out laughing. 

“So,” Kevin said, “How about you?” 

“Well, yeah, but I always felt bad about it,” Connor blushed, “You know, because of the fact that I didn’t get off on girls.”

“Right.” Kevin smiled.

“So, tell me about your first kiss,” Connor blurted out suddenly.

“Um, I, uh”

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Connor stated.

“No, no! It’s fine! I, just, uh,” Kevin turned red as he mumbled, “Ihaveneverbeenkissed.”

“Hmm?” Connor asked, not understanding him.

“I’ve never been kissed.” Kevin said. The two of them sat there silently.

“Really?” Connor asked.

“Yeah, I know, it’s embarrassing.”

“No, it’s just--” Connor looked away, blushing, “I figured girls would have been all over  
you.”

“Nah,” Kevin sighed, “I never had a girlfriend back in Utah.”

“Wow,” Connor said, “Well, if it makes you feel better, I’ve never kissed anyone either, actually.”

“There is no way that is true,” Kevin smiled, “You’re just saying that to make me feel better. You’re so cute, with your red hair and handsome smile! There’s no way nobody has ever kissed you.”

“I don’t know,” Connor blushed, “Thanks, though.”

“Maybe we should-” Kevin looked away, embarrassed, “Never mind.”

“No, what?”

“It’s stupid.”

“Come on, Kevin. Nothing you ever say is stupid.”

“Promise you won’t laugh?”

“I promise.”

“I was just thinking,” Kevin turned red while saying, “Maybe we could kiss each other sometime. You know? Just to, uh, get it out of the way.”

Connor was silent for a moment.

“It’s stupid, I know,” Kevin sighed, “I’m sorry, you certainly don’t have to--”

“No, Kevin, I--” Connor didn’t even know what to say. His mind was racing and his heart was beating really fast, “That sounds...nice.”

“Really?” Kevin perked up.

“Really.” Connor smiled.

They began to lean in when Kevin suddenly blurted, “But not right now. Some other time. When the timing is perfect. We shouldn’t rush this.”

“Right. Okay.” Connor couldn’t help the large smile plastered across his face, “Whenever you feel that the time is right.”  
*  
THREE YEARS LATER

Kevin and Connor at some point had went back to bed, and Kevin woke up in tangled limbs. Kevin smiled to himself, remembering the fun of last night. He smelled eggs and bacon, but he knew Connor needed his sleep, so he crawled out of bed as silently as possible. 

“Kevin,” he heard the voice of his mom come from the kitchen. Oh yeah. She was here. He almost forgot he had to deal with her all summer.

“Hey, mom,” he sighed.

“Listen, we need to talk,” she said sadly. Maybe she would finally apologize. Maybe she finally realize how much she ruined the family. Maybe--

“Kevin, this lifestyle of yours! You know God wouldn’t approve!” So much for that. She stood there red in the face, “I can’t believe you would wreck your Mormon faith like this!”

“I’m not Mormon anymore, Mom,” Kevin snapped, “Which you would know if you ever bothered to call!”

She stood there silently. Clearly, Kevin’s sudden outburst had caught her off guard. If Kevin was honest, it caught him off guard as well. 

“By the way,” Kevin continued to snap, “Connor and I are going out tonight. If you care.”

She stayed silent and turned to the sink to peel potatoes. Kevin stomped back to his room, suddenly not even hungry anymore.  
….  
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Connor asked. He was clearly nervous about the thought of consuming alcohol. 

“Yeah,” Kevin gave a nervous smile that made Connor’s heart flutter. “It’ll be fun.”

Connor took a deep breath as they entered the club, showing their ID’s to the guy. Kevin looked around in total awe, taking the whole thing in.

“Let’s go get some shots, eh?” Connor put his hand on Kevin’s shoulder, giving him a reassuring smile. 

Walking over to the bar, Kevin ordered a round of whiskey shots. Kevin smiled while gazing into Connor’s eyes before counting back from three. Once they said one, the two of them poured the whiskey down their throats as fast as possible.

“Ew! It burns!” Connor shook his head.

“Yuck!” Kevin scrunched up his face, “But the headrush is certainly amazing.”

“I think I’m going to pass on more. I’m going to go talk to people, but you have fun taking shots, okay?” Connor patted Kevin’s shoulder. Kevin looked confused, but soon shrugged it off and began taking shots one after the other after the other.

Soon enough, time was spinning out of control in Kevin’s head. He had no idea what was going on. He began looking for Connor, suddenly craving for Connor to be around to talk to him. He liked Connor. A lot. Connor McKinley, Connor McKinley, Connor McKinley.

He found Connor soon through his drunken vision, squinting at the redhead. He was talking to some guy. The guy was very muscular. Connor--Connor was blushing. Why was he looking at him like that? Connor only ever looked at Kevin like that. That man had his hand on Connor’s thigh. He was looking at Connor McKinley like some kind of dessert. No. Hell no. Connor was not a sexual object and there was no way in hell that he was going to let this man devour him like a plate of cake.

“Connor.” Kevin said, walking up to his friend. Connor gave him an awkward look that screamed of what are you doing here but Kevin did not care. 

“Um, hi, Cade, this is my friend, Kevin,” Connor awkwardly introduced them.

“Boyfriend, thank you very much.” 

“I guess, I’ll just go,” Cade said, walking away.

“Kevin, what the hell was that?” Connor asked once Cade was out of sight, “Are you serious?”

“He was practically about to grope you! He was looking at you like you were a piece of meat!” Kevin shouted.

“Why does that concern you?” Connor stood up, arguing back, “What if I wanted to have sex with him? Did you think about that?”

There was silence between the two, and time felt like it stood completely still, until Kevin grabbed Connor’s face and pulled him into a deep kiss.

“W-What are you doing?” Connor asked as he pulled away, “No-Nobody’s here. Your mom isn’t here. We don’t need to pretend-”

“I don’t care,” Kevin said, pulling Connor in for another kiss. Connor was too stunned to kiss, but when he felt Kevin’s tongue lick across his lips, he knew he had to pull away.

“Kevin,” Connor whispered, his forehead still against Kevin’s, “You’re too drunk for this. You’re not thinking straight.”

“I’m going to throw up,” Kevin said, as if to prove Connor’s point. He turned around and barfed all over the ground. Connor waited patiently as Kevin hurled his guts out.

“Are you ready to go home?” Connor asked, putting his hands on his hips.

“Y-Yeah, I think so,” Kevin gagged, “Will you give me a piggyback ride home?”

“Once we get out of the bar,” Connor rolled his eyes. They walked out of the building and Kevin jumped onto Connor’s back, singing an old song to himself.

“Kevin, hush, people are going to know you’re wasted,” Connor warned, hiding a small smile that appeared on his face.

“I am wasted though,” Kevin giggled. Connor thought he was so adorable like this, though if he was honest, Kevin Price was always adorable. 

Connor sadly asked himself if he was ever going to move on.


	6. VI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kevin's mom is a beeotch. Oh, also, Kevin gets a tattoo.

“Arnold?” Connor opened the door to Arnold and Kevin’s room. He knew Kevin was out at the moment, so he knew this was the perfect opportunity to talk to his best friend.

“Hey, Connor McKinley,” Arnold flashed a bright smile to him. Connor felt nerves in his stomach to bring this up to anyone; especially Kevin’s best friend, but he knew he needed advice, “What’s up?”

“I wanted to talk to you about something,” Connor blushed. Arnold’s eyes widened.

“You’re not having gay thoughts for me, are you?” Arnold asked, “Because, while I’m flattered, and I have no problem with it, I like girls, especially Nabal--”

“No, not for you,” Connor sighed.

“But you’re having gay thoughts for someone?” Arnold asked awkwardly. Connor gulped and nodded. “Who? Oh my gosh! I totally have to set you guys up!”

“You--what?” Connor squinted in confusion.

“C’mon, you deserve to be happy just like everybody else does. And I’m sure I can find out some things about whoever you’re crushing on,” Arnold winked, “Though I’m kind of surprised you came to me about this and not Kevin. Maybe it’s because...well...Kevin might react funny.”

“What?” Connor’s head was spinning at this point.

“Well, you know,” Arnold grinned, “I think Kevin Price is having gay thoughts about you.”

“You do?” Connor’s eyes widened.

“Of course! He won’t admit it but he talks about you literally all the time. He also really, really loves your red hair,” Arnold chuckled, “I’ve only heard him say this ten times.”

“Wow,” Connor smiled dreamily.

“Wait,” Arnold froze, “Your gay thoughts are about him too, aren’t you?”'

“Yeah,” Connor said, “Yeah. They are.”

“Awww! This is so great!” Arnold squealed, wrapping Connor in a hug, “You guys are going to be such a perfect couple.”

“Thanks, Arnold,” Connor smiled at Kevin’s best friend, “I’m so glad we had this talk. I feel so much better now.”

“No problem!” Arnold smiled back, “Thank you for telling me. I can’t wait to see you guys together.”

*  
THREE YEARS LATER  
“My head HURTS!” Kevin rolled over and screamed into his pillow very loudly, waking Connor up.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Connor asked, a slight chuckle in his voice.

“My head hurts,” Kevin whined, “My stomach hurts too. And I don’t remember last night at all.”

That’s a relief, Connor thought to himself.

“I’m sick, Connor,” Kevin groaned, “I’m sick. I probably have the flu or something.”

“Um, Kevin,” Connor sighed, “You’re hungover.”

“I’m hungwhat?” Kevin squinted his eyes, clearly not understanding what Connor just told him.

“Hungover. It’s what happens the next day after you get drunk,” Connor giggled, “Have you seriously never heard that term before?”

“No,” Kevin frowned, “Can you blame me? I’ve never even known anyone who’s touched alcohol until now!”

Connor chuckled again as Kevin groaned and leaned into his shoulder. Until, that is, the smell of pancakes reached Kevin’s nose.

“We gotta eat,” Kevin tugged Connor up, “C’mon.”

The two of them headed into the kitchen to see pancakes being made by Kevin’s mom. Emma and Tess were sitting, eating them, which was quite a sight considering they both looked like they weighed 50 pounds.

“Hey guys,” Tess smiled kindly at the two boys. Emma gave her a disapproving look. Tess didn’t even seem to notice though.

“Hey,” Kevin smiled, “Tess, right?”

“Yeah,” she replied. Her voice was full of kindness; something nobody else in this house had shown them so far. Connor was staring at her incredulously, but Kevin seemed completely unfazed by this whole facade.

“So, how did you guys meet?” Tess asked. 

“Um, we were on the Mormon mission in Uganda together,” Kevin grabbed Connor’s hand and interlaced their fingers, “It was love at first sight.”

“Wow.” Tess smiled, clearly in awe.

“It doesn’t matter how they met, Tess,” Emma snapped at her twin sister, “They’re going to hell. It’s still an abomination and it’s not really love.”

Tess looked down, sadness in her eyes. Kevin gave Connor a confused look, but Connor thought he understood exactly how she felt in that moment.

“Well, Emma,” Connor spoke up, surprising everyone, “If you truly think God is that shallow then I feel sorry for you. After all, there’s no way he’d let someone into heaven who’s trying to seduce random guys with all that makeup.”

Tess swallowed down a laugh and gave Connor an appreciative smile. Kevin looked at Connor in absolute amazement.

“We have somewhere to go today,” Kevin grabbed Connor’s hand, “So, I’ll see you guys later. Tess, would you like to come with us?”

Tess looked surprised by the offer, but shook her head, “As much as I’d love to, unfortunately, I have ballet rehearsal today.”

“Okay then,” Connor smiled at her, “Anytime you want to hang out with us, though, let us know.” 

“Of course,” she looked like her world had just gotten a million times better. Kevin grabbed Connor once again and tugged him out the door. He pulled him into a tight hug, totally catching Connor off-guard.

“That was amazing,” Kevin mumbled into his shoulder, “I’m so glad I brought you here with me.”

“It’s no problem,” Connor chuckled, “So where are we going?”

“Oh, that’s right! I’m going to get a tramp stamp!” Kevin grinned,

“You are not---Kevin Price! You badass!” Connor elbowed him causing Kevin to burst into laughter.

“Thank you,” Kevin bowed, “So let’s get going.”

They drove on the way to the local tattoo and piercing shop, singing along to old Lady Gaga like idiots. They had just recently discovered these songs at the end of Uganda and had a fun time listening to things that were usually forbidden from them.

When they arrived, Kevin had to fill out consent forms and decide how he wanted his tattoo to look. Eventually, he decided on a rainbow flag. On his ass.

“Are you sure about this?” Connor asked, “You’re not even gay.”

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Kevin lied. He was really nervous about this.

Eventually, he got called back and began shaking. Connor obviously knew he was nervous. 

“You know, you don’t have to do this,” Connor laughed at his friend who was clearly freaking out.

“I want to though,” Kevin smiled, not so sure of his own word.

Kevin, of course, made Connor hold his hand. Connor, soothingly, told him to close his eyes and Kevin did. When he opened them, Connor was gazing at him lovingly, and he could barely feel the pain.

“I’ll be right back,” the tattoo artist said. Kevin didn’t even care why he was leaving all of a sudden. His heart was fluttering with need.

When the artist left, Kevin pulled Connor in to kiss him. Connor soon kissed back. Kevin could feel his heart rate increase, but he couldn’t really feel Connor’s lips. He did know, however, that he was happier than he had ever been.

“I love you,” Kevin whispered to the other boy, lacing their fingers together.

“I love you too,” Connor smiled.

“Kevin, are you okay? Kevin, Kevin, Kevin?” Kevin heard a wavy voice suddenly, and the pain started circling through his hips again.

“Ahh!” Kevin screamed, looking frantically around, “Wh-What happened?”

“You blacked out from the pain, I think,” Connor shrugged.

“It’s a totally normal reaction,” the tattoo artist said.

“Did you-did you ever leave?” Kevin asked the artist skeptically. He couldn’t ask Connor if they just kissed after all.

“No, that would be completely irresponsible,” the tattoo artist chuckled. Kevin frowned. That had felt real and….amazing. He wished that had happened, more than he thought he would.

Soon enough, the tattoo was over, and sure enough, Kevin had a tattoo of a rainbow flag on his butt. He looked at Connor sheepishly the whole drive home, unable to comprehend what had happened. He didn’t even realize once they had made it to the house. Connor actually had to snap him out of his thoughts.

“Kevin?” Connor asked, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just…I’m still recovering,” Kevin shrugged. This wasn’t a lie, as he was recovering, just not from the tattoo.

“Kevin, where have you been?” his mom asked as they came through the door, “You were out for a really long time.”

“I got a tattoo,” Kevin smiled, “It’s on my hip if you want to see it.”

Everyone was silent as Kevin and Connor walked to their room hand-in-hand. Once their door closed though, the conversation was easily heard.

“That boy has been an awful influence on him! This homosexual lifestyle is ruining his life!” his mom screamed.

“You need to calm down,” Tess said, “I don’t think it’s Connor’s fault.”

As the whole family began bickering, Kevin had a brilliant idea strike through his mind as Connor was sitting there on his phone.

“Connor,” Kevin whispered, “Let’s pretend to have really loud sex.”

“What?” Connor asked.

“Please,” Kevin whispered again, “It will totally make them even more pissed. Dishevel my hair.” Connor ran his hands through Kevin’s hair, messing it up entirely. Kevin did the same to the ginger, and they began making smacking noises and really loud moans. They left the room together, giggling with their shirts messed up to really look like they had been getting busy. Everyone was silent and nowhere even near. Kevin looked at Connor and they burst into laughter. 

Connor’s laugh was the most beautiful sound that Kevin had ever heard.


	7. VII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A party

All the missionaries had left the bonfire about an hour ago. That is, except for Kevin Price and Connor McKinley.

The two of them were sitting there, talking to each other and roasting marshmallows. Kevin’s smile looked so handsome to Connor in the moonlight. He had the urge to just kiss Kevin right then and there.

He had almost forgotten about their kissing contract. They hadn’t even brought up the agreement since they had first talked about it. Which is why it totally shocked Connor when Kevin spoke up.

“Connor,” Kevin said shyly, “Nobody else is here right now.”

“Yeah,” Connor joked, “Did you just now figure that out?”

Ignoring the joke, Kevin sighed, “Remember our….deal? The one about the first kiss? You know?”

Connor swallowed the lump in his throat, “Yeah, uh, I remember that deal. I thought you had forgotten.”

“No, Connor, I,” Kevin shook his head, as if he was trying to argue with himself, “Can I kiss you?”

“Right now?” Connor was in total shock.

“Yeah, if that’s alright,” Kevin blushed, “I really, really want to kiss you right now.”

Connor nodded. This was it. This was finally the moment he was going to kiss Elder Kevin Price.

“Okay,” Kevin whispered as he began to lean in. Connor leaned in slightly until their lips were brushing right against each other’s. Then, Kevin took the leap and pushed into the kiss.

Connor’s head was spinning. Kevin’s lips were moving with his. He expected this to have been quick, like a one and done sort of deal. Kevin didn’t seem to want to quit, though, and neither did Connor. Connor felt Kevin’s hand brushing against his arm lightly and his tongue lick his bottom lip, where Connor granted entrance.  
This was a real kiss.

Connor ran his fingers through Kevin’s hair, causing Kevin to smile against his lips. He loved this feeling. Connor deepened the kiss further, sucking on Kevin’s bottom lip, causing a small moan to come from Kevin. This was real. Very real.

Connor felt pure euphoria when Kevin’s hand began trailing up his thigh. Holy. Fucking. Shit. This was real. This was real. This was real.

As Kevin’s hands began to head near the seam of Connor’s pants, they heard a small cough from behind them. Oh shit.

“Guys,” Arnold could not even hide his smile, “Guys.”

“You can’t tell anyone,” Kevin looked at his best friend.

“Of course I won’t.” Arnold’s grin expanded, “I’m just...wow. I’m happy for you.”

Arnold ran inside before they could even tell him that they weren’t together. Kevin looked at Connor with an oh well look, before connecting their lips again, spending hours kissing Connor by the fire.

*  
THREE YEARS LATER

“We’re going to a concert tonight, Kevin,” Kevin’s mom said that morning when the two boys walked in the kitchen, “It’s a concert we bought tickets for before we even knew you were coming.”

“It’s alright, Mom,” Kevin yawned. He didn’t even bother fixing his hair this morning, so he had some of the worst bedhead. Connor thought it was the cutest thing he’d ever seen in his entire life.

“Good,” she smiled, “You guys are adults so I trust that you will not cause any problems.”

Kevin was surprised by his mother’s good mood. After the events of last night, this was definitely not expected. 

“Okay then,” Kevin gave her a fake smile, going to get some breakfast and talk to Connor about throwing a party that night. 

When the night came, Kevin and Connor managed to get around 250 people crowded into the house. It felt warm and crowded and Connor wasn’t particularly enjoying himself. He was afraid to go and flirt with guys considering what happened last time. However, he didn’t particularly want to. His feelings for Kevin had come back in full bloom and he couldn’t even imagine trying to like somebody else. How was he ever going to move on from this pain?

Kevin, on the other hand, wasn’t even interested in the party he was throwing. He was just glad that people were totally wrecking the house, throwing around vases and bottles. However, his mind was racing with thoughts of the dream yesterday and Connor McKinley. He didn’t understand why his mind wouldn’t cooperate. Why did it keep trying to make him gay? What was it trying to prove?

What was he trying to prove?

Kevin Price knew many things about Connor McKinley. He knew that he had soft hands. He knew that he had a dashing smile. He knew that the boy had beat himself up for years when all he deserved was love and affection. He knew Connor’s favorite color, favorite Disney movie, favorite kind of pizza. However, there was one thing he didn’t know, and that was how he was supposed to forget about how wonderful Connor McKinley is. 

“Kevin,” Kevin felt a small tap on his shoulder, “Don’t you think you might be taking things a little too far?”

“What?” Kevin turned to the ginger, clearly not even paying attention to the party.

“You’re letting people totally destroy your mother’s house,” Connor lowered his voice, “I know you’re mad at her and I know she’s hurt you, but maybe you’re taking things a little too far now.”

Kevin couldn’t even control his emotions at this point. It was like all control was erased from his mind and he was a loose trigger ready to blow, “You know what Connor? You have no idea. Your parents never treated you like you’re a total failure and like they want nothing to do with you. You have no idea what I’m going through.”

“I have no idea?” Connor’s cheeks were getting red with anger, “Do you even know why I came to Salt Lake City? My parents got me kicked out of school for being gay and then told me they wanted me to move as far away as fucking possible so that I didn’t corrupt their family,” Connor spoke through clenched teeth, “So don’t tell me I don’t know what it’s like. I had to deal with the whole homosexuality aftermath. And it was worse than you could even imagine. And not to mention, it was your fault. If you hadn’t gotten me to come to terms with my….feelings I wouldn’t have felt the need to admit them. If you hadn’t broken my heart this whole fucking mess would have never happened!” Connor ran away as fast as possible, getting out of the house. Kevin was stunned. What did he even do after that? He felt guilt immediately consume him, knowing that he shouldn’t have said that. And Connor was probably right, it was all his fault.

Kevin ended up sending everyone home a minute later and went outside to find Connor. He felt awful and knew he needed to find Connor to make things okay.   
“Connor,” Kevin found his friend sitting on a bench by the beach. Connor immediately wiped his face as if he had been crying. 

“I-I’m sorry,” Connor mumbled.

“No, I’m sorry,” Kevin sat down next to him, “I was an absolute asshole earlier, and I was also an absolute asshole in Uganda. I’m sorry, Connor. For everything.”

“You-You don’t have to be,” Connor sighed, “I should be over all that. I am really. I just...I don’t know.”

“I completely understand the resentment you feel toward me,” Kevin put an arm around him, “I deserve it. I completely messed everything up between us.”

“Not everything,” Connor smiled, “I mean, I’m here, aren’t I?”

“Let’s go clean up,” Kevin smiled at the other boy. They headed back to the house and began cleaning up the party. They put on Ke$ha at Kevin’s request and danced around like idiots while idly cleaning up.

“What the hell happened here?” Kevin heard his Mom’s voice. Oh shit. They had not gotten even halfway done with cleaning.

“I-I’m sorry, Mom,” Kevin sighed, “It’s my fault. I threw a party. Connor didn’t think it was a good idea.”

“This man has been an awful influence on you,” she glared at Connor, “Why the hell did you ever give up on your good Mormon dreams? You could have married a beautiful girl and now you’re going to hell and your life has been wasted away!”

“In case you didn’t know, Mom, I am in love with him. I am in love with Connor McKinley,” the words tingled Kevin’s lips as he said them, “And you should be the one going to hell for being such a bitch!”

Kevin took Connor to their room, slamming the door, and cried into Connor’s shoulder for the rest of the night.


	8. VIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gay

They began sneaking kisses literally all the time. They would go into the woods and make out, or go anywhere where people weren’t. Connor was enjoying kissing Kevin, a lot. Kevin had never imagined that kissing could feel so damn good. Everything was perfect, especially as things began going farther. And farther. Until one day when they were lying naked in Kevin’s bed while Arnold was out, their sweat from their previous activities dripping all over them.

“I cannot believe we just did that,” Kevin said in absolute awe. He really couldn’t believe it. Connor swallowed a gulp. What better time to admit his feelings than now?

“Kevin,” Connor turned to his friend, dumbfounded with silence once the name passed his lips. Kevin Price was so handsome like this.

“Yes, Connor?” Kevin intertwined their fingers together. Okay, there was no way this confession would make life any less perfect.

“I like you,” Connor sighed, “I like you more than you know. I know this is probably not a surprise, considering all that has happened between us. I just like you, and I want to hold your hand and kiss you for the rest of my life,” Connor kissed Kevin’s knuckles, “Please tell me you want the same thing.”

Silence. Then, Connor McKinley’s world came crashing down before him.

“Please leave,” Kevin whispered. He was pale in the face. Connor could not believe what he had just heard.

“What?” Connor asked, unsure of what just happened.

“Leave,” Kevin spoke up, “I’m not gay, Connor McKinley. And I can’t believe I almost let you...corrupt me like that! You took advantage of me!” 

“I--what?”

“Get out, Connor. I don’t want to see you right now.”

With that, Connor put on his clothes quickly and left, still sweaty and red in the face. He let the tears pour while he sat outside Kevin’s room.

What the hell had just happened?

*  
THREE YEARS LATER

Kevin kissed Connor when he joined the family in the kitchen in front of everyone. This completely took Connor by surprise. He held Connor’s hand on the table. Kevin was being way more touchy, though Connor knew this was obviously for show.

Kevin, however, would hug Connor when they were alone. He would also cuddle up to him in bed. Connor was beginning to feel totally destroyed by everything going on. His feelings for Kevin were returning at full force. Now, Connor was sure that this whole situation was a recipe for disaster. 

The day had gone pretty normally. Kevin’s mom had been silent most of the day. Tess and Emma were at some friend’s house. David was at work. Things were extremely normal.

That is, until Kevin kissed his cheek and asked him to go to the beach with him in the middle of the night.

“Please,” Kevin sighed, “We need some quality time together without the purpose of pissing my mother off.”

And since Connor couldn’t resist Kevin and knew there was no safe approach to this entire situation, Connor reluctantly agreed. They headed out to the beach which was completely isolated. This wasn’t too much of a surprise since it was three in the morning.

“The water is freezing,” Kevin squealed, snapping Connor out of his trance. “Come in with me!”

“You just said it was freezing a second ago,” Connor smiled adoringly, “Why the hell would I get in?”

“Because,” Kevin winked, “You know you want to.”

Connor really could not resist this man. He ran into the water, knocking Kevin down, causing them both to erupt in a fit of giggles. They ended up splashing around.

“Let’s build a sandcastle!” Kevin soon suggested once they got sick of the water.

“It’s completely dark outside, Kevin,” Connor shook his head, “Also, are you five?”

“Yes,” Kevin said quickly. Connor gave him a disapproving look. “Oh, come on, please Connor?”

And just like before, Connor was building a sandcastle with Kevin that kept getting ruined by the water. Eventually, the two decided to give up on that and ending up just walking around.

“Connor, thank you for coming to the beach with me tonight,” Kevin looked at the other boy. Soon enough, Connor felt a pair of lips against his own. Because he couldn’t resist Kevin once again, he soon returned the kiss. This kiss did not end quickly like the other kisses they shared during this time in Miami. Connor was the one to pull away. He could not get his heart broken this way again.

“Kevin,” Connor sighed, “I think we should head back. It’s six now.” Kevin nodded in agreement and the pair started walking home, talking and joking the whole way home as Connor’s heart ached.

What he didn’t know was that Kevin’s heart was aching too.


	9. IX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i wish i was a good writer

Kevin ended up apologizing to Connor...well, sort of. The point was, they were hanging out together again, and surprisingly, things were back to normal. They were still kissing, hugging, cuddling, and holding hands. They didn’t have sex again, but there were so many other things happening that Connor didn’t...couldn’t care. He loved Kevin Price.

The only problem was, Kevin Price didn’t love him back.

Connor didn’t understand these things. Kevin didn’t treat all of his friends like this. After all, Arnold Cunningham was his best friend and he didn’t go around making out with him. It was weird, but Connor continued to hold onto the hope that maybe, just maybe, this meant something.

“Even though I’m not gay,” Kevin said one day, “Doesn’t mean I don’t support you. I hope you find a guy that makes you happy one day.”

These mixed signals were making Connor’s head spin. He had no clue what their relationship was and decided it was best to not search for a label, but rather enjoy the time he had with Kevin in the moment.

But when night came, Connor would lay in bed and curse himself through his tears. He needed to let Kevin go. He needed to stop letting Kevin kiss him and treat him like a boyfriend. He needed to tell Kevin that if they were going to just be friends, boundaries needed to be established.

He never did though. Connor McKinley just couldn’t resist Kevin Price.

*  
THREE YEARS LATER

The next day was full of tension over the breakfast table. Kevin’s mom didn’t say a word to her son and he didn’t say anything to her. When Connor came in, Kevin went to kiss him like he did yesterday, but no words were spoken. 

After breakfast, Kevin went back to his room. Connor knew he was supposed to join him, but then Tess pulled him aside.

“Can we talk?” she asked. She was obviously nervous to do this, and Connor knew exactly how she felt.

“Of course,” he said kindly. They went into her room so she could talk to him privately.

“Okay,” her breath was shaky, “How did you come to terms with yourself? Like how did you decide to come out?”

“Well,” he sighed, “I was in Uganda when it happened. Before Uganda, I always denied my thoughts, but somehow I ended up admitting them to all the other missionaries. I also had a crush on Kevin, which made me realize I could only hide so much.” 

“Did he help you in anyway?”

“Of course. He was the one who told me to stop hiding my gay thoughts. He told me I was fine the way I was,” Connor sighed, “But I think it was fake.”

“Wait, what?” Tess looked genuinely confused, “What do you mean it was fake? Are you guys going to break up?”

“No,” Connor shook his head, “Tess, can I tell you a secret?”

“Sure, Connor,” she smiled at him, “I would love to know.”

“Kevin and I aren’t really dating. In fact, we never were,” Connor looked down at the floor sadly.

“There’s no way. You guys are tricking me,” Tess looked around for Kevin for confirmation, but he was nowhere in sight, “Right?”

“We’ve been faking because Kevin wants to hurt his mom,” Connor sighed, “But don’t worry, I’m actually gay so I don’t mind talking to you about your struggles.”  
“I--wow,” Tess looked surprised, “You guys sure fooled me. He looks at you like you’re his entire world.”

“I wish,” Connor sighed, “But in Uganda he made it perfectly clear that he would never have gay thoughts.”

“Asshole. He’s such a liar,” Tess rolled her eyes, “Why would he say that? It’s obviously not true.”

“No,” Connor said, “He’s straight.”

“I am legit going to kill him,” Tess said, “Look at you! He’s breaking your heart and you’re totally letting him! He needs to get his act together,” Tess sighed, “If someone was doing this to me, I’d bring someone to tell them to stop. How rude.”

“I-” Connor began, “Please don’t tell him.”

“I won’t,” she promised, “But I’m still going to kill him.” With that, Tess was out the door quickly and Kevin was surprised with her angry face.

“What the actual hell?” she asked.

“What are you talking about?” Kevin looked at her oddly. Was she mad about the party they threw?

“How come I didn’t know you and Connor were faking this entire thing?” Tess sighed, “You guys helped me realize that I was okay. You helped me realize that my thoughts were natural. How could you do this?”

“How was I supposed to know my stepsister was a lesbian?” Kevin asked defensively.

“What matters is that you do this to Connor too. You let him come to terms with himself, but you can’t even come to terms with yourself.”

“I’m not gay, Tess,” Kevin snapped.

“Oh, shut the fuck up,” she snapped right back, “You are causing more damage than you could ever imagine. And you better cut it out before somebody gets hurt.”

“Tess--”

“You cannot keep faking this relationship,” Tess warned. However, she didn’t see who was right behind her.

“Mom, I-” Kevin began, but he was at a total loss for words.

“Why the hell would you pretend to be gay?” she said. Clearly, she was disappointed, “What were you trying to gain?”

“For god’s sake, Mom, I did it to make you upset,” he sighed, “I knew you didn’t approve of homosexuality so I wanted to hurt you as much as you had hurt me.”

“I’m sorry, Kevin,” she sighed, “But-”

“No buts,” Kevin snapped, “You didn’t even tell me you were leaving. You just up one day and left. Do you know how much that hurt me?” 

“Yes, Kevin, but I couldn’t face your father after what I had done.” she explained, “I felt so guilty.”

“As you should have.” Kevin said.

“You’re right,” she said, “I invited you here this summer to make amends, even though I knew that was pretty much impossible. I wanted you to forgive me, even though I don’t deserve it.”

“I-I’m sorry,” Kevin sighed, “I’ve been making your life miserable trying to think it would make up for what happened. It just made me feel worse.”

“I’m sorry I acted out about you being gay,” she smiled, “You didn’t deserve that. God makes two people fall in love for a reason. Connor and you are perfect together.”

“I just told you we were faking,” Kevin sighed.

“But you’re not,” she explained, “I know you, Kevin. You’re my son. And it’s okay. We’re here to support you.”

“I-Mom, I may be er, struggling but I’m not-I can’t be gay,” Kevin muttered out, “I-I’m sorry,”

“I’m not the one you need to apologize to,” she said before turning away.

That night, before going to bed, Kevin told Connor that they didn’t have to fake things anymore. Kevin tried to put on a happy face, like he was relieved that things could go back to normal. Connor, on the other hand, was just hiding back tears. The night felt like it lasted forever. Kevin drifted off to sleep pretty quickly, curling up into Connor like he always did. At about four in the morning, after no sleep, Connor decided it was time to stop letting himself get hurt. He pulled out a piece of paper and a pen, and began writing.

 

Dear Kevin Price,  
Thank you for inviting me to come to Miami with you. It was nice pretending while it lasted. I realized some important things by coming here with you.  
First, I am sorry that I’m not strong enough to stay here with you. I have been letting myself be a slave to my feelings for way too long. I can’t resist you which is why I came on this trip in the first place. It’s why I’ve let you kiss me when I shouldn’t have. I don’t think I can be around you and expect to stop loving you. You have made your feelings clear, so I need to get away and move on.  
So, no, I’m not going back to Salt Lake City. I am going back to my family in Pittsburgh and hoping that somehow they will end up letting me back in their lives. I will have to beg, but it’s where I’m at now. I really have no other options at this point.  
I can’t go on letting myself get hurt by you. I need to get away, and I’m tired of feeling guilty for loving you. I need to find someone who actually cares about me and stop letting you be the focus of my attention when you don’t even care about me the same way I care about you.  
Therefore, I know I will never see you again, and that is a sacrifice I have to make. Believe me, I will miss you, but it’s for the best. I hope you have a wonderful life and meet a wonderful girl who could do all the amazing things for you that I couldn’t do.  
Sincerely,  
Connor McKinley


	10. X

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I went MIA for a while but I'm here to post the last chapter and epilogue.
> 
> Kevin goes after what he wants.

The day the missionaries left Uganda was remarkably quiet. Kevin was packing and felt totally torn. He wished he didn’t have to leave. Arnold would be still in the same city as him, sure, but Connor would be on the other side of the country.

Kevin had gotten comfortable with Connor again which was good. He couldn’t explain his irrational behavior. Any normal person would not continue kissing their friend who just confessed their feelings especially if they didn’t return it. Kevin, however, was confused. It’s like he couldn’t resist kissing Connor. There was something about Connor that was comforting. He was like a warm blanket or pancakes on Sunday morning. Connor felt like home in the best way.

“I-Goodbye,” Kevin said to Connor. He wanted to kiss him. He wanted to kiss him all over and go with him. He wanted to smother him in a hug and beg him not to leave and to come back with him to Salt Lake City. For some reason though, Kevin couldn’t bring himself to do any of those things.

“Bye, Kevin,” Connor sighed. They didn’t touch or embrace. They just awkwardly walked away from each other.

“Connor, I-” Kevin began. He didn’t know what he wanted to say or how to say it, but he knew he couldn’t leave like this.

“Kevin, don’t,” Connor looked at him, “You’ve broken my heart enough these two years.”

With that, Connor turned on his heel and completely left Kevin in silence. Kevin at this point knew that there was no salvaging this. He had done enough damage as is.

*  
THREE YEARS LATER

Kevin woke up that morning to silence. Usually, Connor was snoring or awake, just waiting for Kevin to get up. This was completely abnormal and Kevin already had a gut feeling that something was wrong.

“Connor?” He asked. He dashed out of his room calling for Connor.

“What’s going on?” Tess asked, rubbing her eyes. Kevin woke her up since it was only seven in the morning.

“I can’t find Connor,” Kevin panicked. Tess looked at him in confusion. He ran back into his room, desperate to find a sign of anything. He found that Connor’s suitcase was gone and he freaked out. Then, he noticed an envelope sitting on the nightstand.

Oh shit.

Kevin opened the envelope as quickly as possible and took a look at the letter before him. He couldn’t believe the words in front of him. 

He should’ve known. Of course Connor was still in love with him. Of course Connor thought he was leading him on. That was when Kevin thought about it.

Connor McKinley was the most amazing person that Kevin Price had ever met. He had gorgeous eyes and a golden heart. He had the most perfect smile that always managed to make Kevin feel at home.

Connor was Kevin’s home.

Kevin loved home.

Kevin loved Connor.

“I….I love him,” Kevin said to himself, understanding everything as if it all fell into place, “I love him. I always have. I’ve loved him since back at the beginning of Uganda. I love him so much. I-” Kevin gulped, “I’m gay.”

Kevin sat there in total shock until he realized that the clock was not on his side, and there was no way in hell that Kevin would let Connor go back with his parents.

He would not lose Connor McKinley again.

“Mom,” Kevin yelled, “Mom! I gotta go right now. Connor left.”

She quickly approached her son, “Oh honey..”

“I have to go get him now. I-” Kevin teared up, “Mom, you were right. I’m in love with him.”

“It sure took you long enough!” Tess smiled, “Go get him, lover boy.”

At that moment, Kevin took the keys and drove as fast as possible without getting pulled over to the airport. He could only hope that Connor’s flight hadn’t left yet. 

He sent Connor a text, knowing this may be the only way to get to him.

Don’t go. I love you.

To Kevin’s dismay, the text did not go through, causing him to go even faster. Eventually, he pulled into the airport and ran out of the car. He found the next flight to Pittsburgh and was relieved to find out that it left at 10. Kevin was just in time, as long as he didn’t take an earlier flight.

Gate 16. Gate 16.

Kevin dashed as fast as possible to gate 16, sweating from nerves with his eyes full of tears. No. He would not let Connor McKinley get away ever again. 

Connor was drinking coffee from Starbucks, clearly oblivious to Kevin standing right in front of him. 

“Connor,” Kevin said softly, causing the other boy to look up.

“Kevin, what are you doing here?” Connor sighed. Clearly, he was fed up, and Kevin couldn’t blame him. But even in that moment, he looked adorable.

There was no way Kevin could resist Connor McKinley.

“Connor,” Kevin grabbed the other man’s hands, “Don’t go. You can’t go.”

“Kevin, I can’t keep being your toy,” Connor bit his lip trying to fight back tears, “I can’t keep living like this.”

“Then don’t,” Kevin pressed their foreheads together, wiping Connor’s tears before whispering the words that Connor McKinley had been waiting to hear for so long, “I love you.”

“No,” Connor stepped back, “No. Don’t get in my head like this.”

“Connor McKinley, I am in love with you. I’m sorry I have been so awful to you, and you deserve someone so much better than me. I can promise though, that I will make sure you know how much I love you for every second of every day, and I will never let you go.” Kevin grabbed Connor’s hands again. This time, Connor didn’t fight back.

“I was scared, Connor,” Kevin whispered.

“And you think I wasn’t?” Connor asked, “I was so scared of being in love with you.”

“I had never experienced the feelings I felt for you before in my entire life. It was terrifying,” Kevin wiped a stray tear from Connor’s cheek with his thumb, “But I’m not afraid anymore.”

“I have been waiting for this for so long,” Connor chuckled through his tears, “It feels like a total fantasy.”

“I’ve never been happier than I am in this moment,” Kevin smiled, “Can I kiss you?”

“Please.” Connor immediately felt a pair of lips against his own, and this kiss was like nothing he had ever experienced before. Connor wrapped his arms around Kevin’s neck and could feel the love that Kevin felt through the kiss. This kiss was fireworks for both of them. Kevin never wanted it to end.

“You’re not still going to leave are you?” Kevin asked. Connor softly laughed and shook his head.

“Good,” Kevin grabbed the other boy’s hand, “Because I don’t ever want to be apart from you ever again.”

“What happened to not being gay?” Connor asked teasingly.

“Fuck it. I’m gay, I’m gay, I’m gay. I don’t care anymore,” Kevin blushed, “All I care about is being with you.”

“I love you so much, Kevin Price,” Connor said adoringly.

“I love you more, Connor McKinley.”


	11. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disney World

Connor and Kevin had been together for a full five years. Things were better than ever before. They had moved to Orlando, Florida and were currently staying in a hotel at Disney World (even though it was only miles away from where they lived) so that they could enjoy a Disney vacation with Arnold and Naba.

Kevin was so in love with Connor and everything he did. He was so glad to be with his favorite person in his favorite place. There was no better definition of paradise.

This day, however, was very important, and Kevin was almost as nervous as he had been the day he followed Connor to the airport. Things were going great and Kevin was ready to take the next step.

“Good morning babe,” Kevin mumbled into his boyfriend’s shoulder that morning. Connor started running his fingers through Kevin’s hair.

“Morning, darling,” Connor bent to kiss Kevin’s forehead, but Kevin leaned up so their lips met instead. 

“I love kissing you,” Kevin said through kisses.

“Even with my morning breath?” Connor struggled to get out.

“There is no way you could be any more perfect than you already are, so yes, even with your morning breath,” Kevin kissed Connor, holding him tightly.

“We can’t make out all morning,” Connor finally pulled away, “We have to go to Magic Kingdom today!”

“I’m so excited to show you my favorite place,” Kevin mumbled, “Are you ready? We’ll have to meet Arnold and Naba in a few.”

“Shit, I better get dressed,” Connor said, dashing up from the bed. Kevin shook his head, looking at his boyfriend with adoration.   
-  
“It is so hot,” Arnold said, “Man. How do you guys manage living here?”

“It’s incredible,” Kevin sighed, “I promise.” They walked into the park, heading toward the ticket booth where they scanned their Magic Bands. They were staying for a week and a half, and this happened to be their first day.

When they entered the park, Connor couldn’t believe that the train station in front of them had an actual train. Apparently, Connor had never seen a train before, which Kevin found absolutely adorable.

“What are we riding first?” Naba asked.

“I want to ride Space Mountain,” Kevin said, “It’s my favorite ride.”

“Oh c’mon,” Connor grabbed his boyfriend’s arm, “I have been dying to see the hype with Splash Mountain. Please?”

Kevin could not resist him.

“Okay,” Kevin said. 

“He must be whipped,” Arnold mumbled to Nabalungi. She nodded in agreement. They began heading toward the “second-best mountain” (according to Kevin). 

However, Kevin loved it. This was because Connor was in awe the full ride. The moment they got in the first room with the singing animals, Connor shouted, “Whoa, I thought this was just a basic log ride!” Turns out, Connor got really involved in the story, telling Br’er Rabbit to stay in his Briar Patch, and saying “I told you so!” at the end.

Dinner was at 6. Kevin kept watching the time anxiously. Beauty and the Beast was Connor’s favorite Disney movie, so he was so excited. 

The day went by quickly. Kevin and Connor argued over what the best mountain was, Naba kicked butt on Buzz Lightyear’s Space Ranger Spin, Arnold laughed at Monsters Inc. Laugh Floor so hard he cried, Connor cried tears of joy on It’s a Small World because “It was just so beautiful.” They even met Mickey Mouse. Then, it was 6.

They were waiting in line and Kevin was biting his nails. Call our name, he thought to himself nervously.

“Kevin, are you okay?” Connor asked. Clearly, he noticed Kevin’s nerves and was concerned. Kevin smiled at him.

“Yeah, I am.” Kevin smiled lovingly, “I’m so glad to be here with you.”

Soon enough, their name was called and they walked through the Beast’s castle. Connor’s eyes lit up at the ballroom, but to his amazement they were seated in the West Wing. Connor almost screamed at the incredible detail.

“There’s even a rose!” Connor squealed as quietly as possible.

Kevin whispered something to the waiter and they got their orders in. Connor was fangirling over the restaurant and Kevin looked at him with absolute love in his eyes. Then, the music came on, and Kevin knew that it was time.

“Why is the Beauty and the Beast song playing?” Connor asked, totally freaked out. Kevin stood up, reaching out his hand. 

“May I have this dance?” Kevin asked. Connor nodded, looking at Kevin with love. Kevin led him into the room where people usually meet the Beast, which had been cleared out to Kevin’s request.

Of course, they danced to the song smoothly. Connor was laying into Kevin’s shoulder. This was perfect, pure bliss. 

Kevin took a deep breath, before leaning Connor back into the center of the restaurant, where everyone could see.

“Connor McKinley,” he stopped before they got any further, “I wasted too much of my life letting you get away from me. When I said I would never let you go again, I meant it. You are my sun, my moon, my air, and I can’t live without you,” Kevin froze, “And I don’t want to for the rest of my life.”

As Kevin got down on one knee, Connor put a hand over his mouth in total shock. The tears were ready to spill. This was really happening.

“Connor McKinley, will you marry me?”

Connor immediately nodded and jumped into Kevin’s arms. There were many “awww”s throughout the restaurant, but they didn’t even notice or care.

“This is perfect,” Connor kissed him, “You’re perfect.”

“You’re more perfect.” Kevin kissed him back. He didn’t even want to eat dinner at this point. He just wanted to hold Connor in his arms forever.

Luckily, he knew he would get to do that.


End file.
